I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
