I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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