just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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