my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
