I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
