I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Boobs are out for the taking
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
