Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
