there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it's not cheating when I paid for it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sorry my hands just texted you
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
