I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
