The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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