even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
