Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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