i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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