I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
