pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
