she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
