Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
