I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
