This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
