Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
