I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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