i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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