dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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