what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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