Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
