Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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