never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
