I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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