HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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