Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
