need another drink. this is the easiest way
i barfeds in our rink
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's official drugs can't kill me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
