You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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