I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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