I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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