he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
