do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
should my penis look like a turkey
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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