i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
