Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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