Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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