roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
