Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i would punch a child for taco bell
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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