i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
