ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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