I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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