If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
