I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
