I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Terrible idea I love it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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