All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
