we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
