he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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