I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
