so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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