Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
