he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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