We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
