Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
