you would pick up someone in the library
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
