I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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