I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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