Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
