xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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