I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
